TOLEDO, Ohio — Every parent knows child rearing is no easy task, and while having a partner to help in the process is ideal, it is not always possible. Disfunction between parents can mean a hard childhood. To help guide parents into better co-parenting and parenting situations, two local parenting organizations, Brothers United and Sisters United, are offering help in fatherhood and motherhood.
Milton Ashford Jr has been with Brothers United for the last two years. As a father of six children, ranging in age from 16 years old down to three years old, he said he's very proud to be part of this program. All six children, Amari, Milton III, Maddie, Rylie, Myles and Marley have all benefited from what he's learned so far.
"There's no excuses in life. So, the accountability is what the most important part is," Ashford Jr. said.
The Brothers United program has been teaching men in Lucas County about the importance of accountability in fatherhood for nearly 10 years. Whether it's through group sessions or individualized counseling, it's all about working together to help these fathers find a positive way forward.
"The most important thing I learned is to keep going and to have grace for yourself," Ashford Jr said. "Just to continue to not give up on my kids and being a father."
Pathway Incorporated's Director of Family Supportive Services, Avis Files, which runs Brothers United and Sisters United, said they're constantly working to combat a well-known stigma specifically against Black fathers. She said the program is about focusing on continual improvement.
"We are so used to hearing negative things about Black men. That they don't care about their children. That they're dead-beat dads. But when we get to talk with them and when they share. Then it just says, 'nope, we don't have to believe those things'," Files said.
She said she wants everyone to see and know the truth. While Brothers United's initial group sessions and individualized activities were aimed at helping single fathers, the conversations around the importance of co-parenting needed to be relayed to the men's partners. This is how Sisters United came to be.
"Given the opportunity to talk and share and to be themselves and receive information and inspiration. The trajectory of children's lives change," Files said.
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New mom Johntia Green thanked Sisters United for teaching her how to be a parent.
"They kind of brought it out of me. They made me, they helped me, like realize how important it is to be his mom. Or to be a mom period, like you can do it," Green said.
She found out about Sisters United when she was still pregnant with her now five-month-old son Qi'jhir. She said they were a great help while looking for a job, housing, co-parenting and other parts of her new life as a parent.
Ashford Jr. agreed both programs are there when participants need them most. The resources offered to help new, and even the more experienced parents, all get assistance they might be looking for.
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