x
Breaking News
More () »

Giving up the idea of a 'perfect pregnancy': Learning it's OK when things don't go according to plan

A story that hits close-to-home for the WTOL 11 news team. TaTiana Cash came back from her maternity leave to talk about preterm births.

TOLEDO, Ohio — A story that hits close-to-home for the WTOL 11 news team. TaTiana Cash came back from her maternity leave to talk about preterm births, a subject of great importance since her daughter was a preterm birth and is still at ProMedica Toledo Hospital.

Cash gave birth to a little girl the first week of January. But her due date was the very end of March. So, at 12 weeks early, the idea of the perfect pregnancy was gone. However, the reality is that many women share this same situation.

"Babies are going to come in their own time," Bush said. 

Bloom Women's Counseling Owner and Therapist, Ashley Bush, specifically works with mothers on their mental health. She said women who give birth to premature babies can go through numerous emotions and feel everything.

"Give yourself some grace," Bush said. 

TaTiana was due March 30, but on Jan. 8, she had to get ready to give birth. At 28 weeks gestation, there was no baby shower or taking a "babymoon" vacation, having a maternity photoshoot, or any of the other typical pregnant girl stuff. 

She was heartbroken and angry. Nothing about this pregnancy was going to the plan she'd made in her mind. 

"It's an experience that didn't go according to plan. And it's alright to have human emotions around that," Bush said. 

She explained that NICU and preemie moms go through a grieving process because they missed some part of the typical 40 weeks of pregnancy.

"It's okay to feel angry. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. It's okay to feel all of those things," Bush explained. 

Thus, over eight weeks of short-term disability, Cash watched moms leave the hospital with their babies. Meanwhile, she went to the NICU every single day to see her little girl. Admittedly, it was hard.

Over time she admitted that it took time, and support from her family and friends to learn the perfect pregnancy isn't super common. In fact, a 2020 CDC study showed one out of every 10 babies born in the US was preterm.

"Studies show that about one out of every four pregnancies results alternatively than in a live birth. So we have to account for the fact that it's actually a really widespread experience," Bush noted. 

Thus both TaTiana and Bush agreed that moms are allowed to feel whatever they are feeling because it's okay. Feel free to give yourself grace if your pregnancy didn't go to plan. 

They said it is important to give yourself time to heal because it will get better.

Before You Leave, Check This Out